June 6, 2019. Port Tobacco, Maryland.
Today you woke up and walked to the park in Port Tobacco, where you meditated w the bugs by the pond. You seem to be drawn to ponds everywhere you find yourself living, and that is really beautiful. This is the only way you can have enough space to truly be free, and it’s the first you’re even practicing yoga since you graduated the training. You still haven’t found your exactly what it is you have to offer for the world, in the sense that, you’re looking for something cute and small enough to wrap up in a bow and fit into cute and tacky packaging. What you’re learning right at this moment is everything that you thought you knew was truly just the cage you put yourself in. What you can see now is you need so much more openness, space, and faith in everything that you are. I know in my heart that in the space and time between the moments my fingers grace these solid keys, and the moment I sit and remember I once typed these words, something magical and brilliant and completely unexpected is going to take place. I know in my heart when I read these words once more I will be so far past today’s uncertainty, and I know that I will envy the nieve girl who sits in this chair in this very moment and manifests her future. I cannot connect the pieces of what my life will turn into right now, and that’s exactly what creates the thrill of the unknown within these next few months. Rights now I pray every day for the time in my journey to finally arrive where I can make my living helping other people in the ways that people are craving connection. I pray to be in a position to help people see themselves, for their truth. I pray to find the courage to share my own truth; in turn I hope to inspire the world to release their shame, fear and self doubt, and look within, and see the beautiful reality that is within every human soul: that we are all perfectly manifested and created out of Gods perfect image, and all we need to heal is to show ourselves this unconditional love that we are looking to so desperately in everything around us.
I wrote this letter as I began a business coaching program, weeks earlier in May. It was dated to be sent to me as I finished the program, today. At the time that I signed up for the coaching, I didn’t realize that the end date perfectly coincided with mercury direct: the final push through all of the healing that’s taken place in the sky this summer. Choosing today to have my letter sent, I didn’t realize it was the same day mercury would continue forward.
This retrograde has been an opportunity to revisit some of the feelings and emotions that were addressed throughout the summer and through the eclipse season. Walking into this energy I had no idea what it was that I had to offer. Moving through this energy and allowing myself to feel all of it, that was my miraculous miracle that happened in the time between writing out those words and writing these now. Learning the strength in vulnerability; learning what it means to be free as I allow myself to open up. Learning that this is exactly what I have to offer to others. A chance to share my story, my experiences, all of the strange and all too real coincidences that make up my day to day life. Living in the moment exactly and allowing the timing of my purpose to unfold all on its own, as it is always perfectly aligned with where I desire to be.
When I chose to receive business coaching 6 months ago I had no idea where I would be or how I was going to get there. But I was right, I do admire the girl who chose to invest in herself and take a leap of faith. Making a commitment to myself and my future was the best choice I could have made, and getting my letter to myself back today, as mercury finds its flow once again, was a wonderful way for the universe to remind me that I am apart of something that is much greater than myself and “my offer.” I am a small piece of a greater movement, and it moves through me, allowing me to move with it. Reading this letter today, I know that my purpose is to help teach others to surrender to this same greater force within themselves.